PUBLISHED 06/01/2005
Ever hear a little voice in your head? Be honest. It doesn't mean you're crazy. Well, it might mean you're crazy depending on what the little voice is telling you.
I'm talking about that little voice that whispers what it thinks you should be doing. Sometimes the voice is called your conscience, when it thinks what you're doing isn't right. But there's another voice that many of us hear. I know I do, or at least I used to. This is the voice of the Gremlin. This is the voice that tells you whatever you're doing isn't good enough, that you should be able to run faster or farther, and that simply enjoying yourself is no reason to keep running. The Gremlin tells you that no matter how much you've improved your life or your running, you still have a long way to go.
It's gotten to the point where I can almost see the Gremlin sitting on someone's shoulder when I talk to him or her. When a first-time marathoner tells me that he'll be disappointed if he doesn't finish in a certain time, I swear I can see the Gremlin's teeth as it grins from ear to ear.
I recently spoke to a woman who had only been running for about a year but was coming back from a pelvic fracture. When I asked her what happened, she explained that she'd been running two half-marathons a week and since that was going well, she decided to add a third. You read that right. She was surprised when she ended up with a stress fracture in her pelvis. After all, she said, 39 miles a week didn't seem like a lot of miles. The Gremlin was doing cartwheels across her shoulders. I had no luck trying to convince her that she might consider a more reasonable training approach. Her Gremlin had her and wouldn't let her go.
Where I see the Gremlin most often, though, is at the finish line of races. It's like some kind of weird Gremlin convention in the chutes as runners come across the line. Instead of celebrating their accomplishments, runners are tormented by the voice of their Gremlins. Runners whose Gremlins just won't allow them to experience the joy of living a healthy, active life. That nasty little voice just keeps reminding them of what they are not.
Gremlins are everywhere, at every pace. They tell a novice runner that pain is weakness leaving the body. They tell runners that an injury is no reason to walk off a racecourse.
The good news is that you have the power to silence your Gremlin. At the very least you have the power to turn down the volume of its voice. The first step in vanquishing your Gremlin is admitting that it exists. The next time you find yourself questioning your performance, ask yourself whose voice it is that you're hearing in your head. Are you hearing a supportive voice? If not, it's the voice of your Gremlin.
The next time you hear yourself thinking that a run isn't good enough, far enough, or fast enough, listen carefully to that voice. Ignoring it won't make it go away. Listen to it, thank it for its opinion, and then forget it.
Your running may be one of the only areas of your life where you're fully free to decide how you want to feel about what you're doing. Your running may be your one chance to feel really good about something you've decided to do.
And even the slowest among us can outrun our Gremlins if we try.
Waddle on, friends.
